When the kids were younger, I always thought they seemed happiest when we were staying in a small apartment or hotel room where they could always see, or at least hear, us nearby. They could call out for Mom or Dad, and there we were, right on cue. As they became teenagers, things changed, as things do, and the retreats to their rooms became more frequent. They petitioned to stop sharing a room and we gave in, acknowledging a young person’s need for space and privacy.
Space is a very American luxury, I realize. Space to be alone, quiet space, space to make a mess, space to escape from others. Most families here in Ecuador live tightly squeezed together in small apartments or houses. Families are squished together everywhere: 6-7 in a car; three generations in a home, even 3-4 on a motorbike together. I know that given a choice, and the means, everyone would love a little more space. It’s a luxury, for sure, but how much space is too much space? When do we cut ourselves off from our family interactions – the good, bad, ugly, and worse – by retreating into our bedrooms, offices, gyms, media rooms, playrooms, or the bubbles we create with our iDevices? We certainly can avoid a lot of conflict by just spreading out a little and getting out of each other’s way, but we also miss out on a lot of laughs, funny stories, evening card games, and serious bonding.
We really aren’t roughing it here by global standards. But for our family, the personal space adjustment has probably been the starkest change (besides dealing with 3G). The kids have shared cramped bunk rooms, sofa beds, taken turns sleeping on the floor, and shared bathrooms with enough hot water only for the one who wins rock-paper-scissors. They’ve been adaptable, adventurous, and less whiney than anticipated. But sometimes, they just crave a little space.
Lena just had her 16th birthday. What did she ask for? She just wanted a little space. So we decided to get out of Quito for the weekend and visit Cotopaxi. Cotopaxi has been quiet for over 70 years, but awakened just after we arrived in Ecuador. Finding a place to stay in the area of the closed Cotopaxi National Park was easy – every sane person has cancelled their reservations. We arrived to find empty haciendas, beautiful vistas, and safety crews installing sirens along the dirt road to Cotopaxi. The volcano was an amazing site. Covered in glacial ice (the source of Ecuador’s drinking water) and spewing enormous amounts of ceniza (ash), we couldn’t take our eyes off her. We took the precaution of parking our car facing the road, ready for our quick getaway if the alert level was raised from yellow to orange. We checked the website with live seismographic reports. And we gave Lena her own room for her birthday.
I know it wasn’t the gift of a car that some of her friends got for their 16th, or the Sweet 16 party she probably would have enjoyed, but it’s not every night that you go to sleep in the shadow of a giant force of nature, bags packed and ears open for the sound of a warning siren. And her last words before going to sleep in her own bed in her own room were “don’t forget me in here if we have to leave”. Which just proved to me that they are happiest when we are close by, not upstairs or downstairs or down a long hallway. At least I like to think that’s how they feel.
-Gail
Aw that’s beautiful Gail!
Thank you so much for sharing all of this.. so inspiring.. xo
So much to say. First, let me appogize to Lena for birthday wishes that are belated. It certainly is not a case of “out of sight, out of mind” because we think of you and the rest of the family all of the time. Secondly, I was sooooo jealous of your adventures in the Galopalos, but on the other hand, soooooS happy that you had the experience. The pictures that you have posted are awesome, the blogs of Lena, Andrew and Gail are so descriptive and thoughtful. You are an amazing family, of which we are so proud. Gail you have done a great job arranging this great adventure. We loved speaking to you the other evening. Some news from here. I been advised by two doctors that my golf days are over. Sad, but I will have to re-invent myself. Thank goodness, I don’t make my living from golf.
have a close personal friend in Quito. Well connected if you guys need local help with anything!
Rod
Tomorrow I’m going to make Philip play ***the chord*** and sing you happy birthday and send it to you. xo hbd (see: birthday post fb)